coffee and then some...

I just got back from coffee with my friends and we were talking about
stuff.. I just realized something about myself... I guess it's cause lately
I'm feeling the pressure from God that it's high time that I make a
difference and contribute to sharing his word to others... I think I
misunderstood his calling though. Sometimes, I expect to much or exert too
much effort on the wrong things. I know that I've concentrated too much on
actually doing something over praying about things first. I guess, I was
just too excited to see results right away. This evening I got reminded of
how we don't HAVE to be the ones to actually make the big difference, our
task is just to bring someone a step closer.. whether it's the final one or
the first one..

i know I haven't been that much of a good testimony either so if anything,
I've even made others take a step back.. I regret not being more conscious
about myself and the things that I do. It was a good thing I got to talk
with my friends again, they reminded me about this.. about how I should be
careful, because in the simple act of just living is already a testimony for
some.. it's actually the best testimony that you could ever give.. I'm
thinking about apologizing to those I have shown my unpleasant side to.. I
will..

if you're reading this and you've witnessed me being / doing something
unpleasant before, I would like to apologize.. it was a selfish thing.. it's
bad enough that I'm stumbling committing those sins, but to drag you down by
showing it to you is a much greater sin.. I apologize for my actions.. I
hope that starting today, I can become a better example for everyone.. and I
also hope what I did before will not affect you and you're path to Christ's
way..

--
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